My Family

I need to do an entire post about General Conference, but the topic of family has been on my mind. I am blessed beyond measure--both on the Shumway and Jensen sides of my family. I could not have asked to be sent to a better family. The Shumway's just had their bi-annual reunion. These reunions have been something that i've loved to attend since I can remember. They have fostered relationships with distant relatives that do not feel 'distant.' They are my family. My dad's Aunt Carmen wrote, "we are grateful to be part of the heritage and responsibility that comes with carrying the Shumway name." I felt that responsibility at a very young age. For Christmas one year I asked for an engraved ring, which I still wear, that says "Shumway Honor." I love my Shumway family and know and feel this responsibility.

I have recently been reflecting on what makes all these feelings so. Why do I feel the way I do about my family? I have often been asked, "you are friends with your cousins?!" YES! And my second and third cousins too! This is a very unique blessing to be so close to my family. So, why do I feel this way? Why do I love, respect, honor, and cherish these people and these relationships?

Upon reading and reflecting, it comes down to the same principle. Time. My Grandmother knew this. My dad knew this. Time shapes relationships. When asked, my dad stated that the key to being a great father was being interested and spending time. These are two things which he did--and I consider him the greatest father to ever be.

I've read some reflections that my aunts and uncles wrote about my Grandmother. One aunt wrote, "it is only now that she is gone that I have come to understand her magic. I guess I would have to say that her magic was just that: SHE SHOWED UP. She showed up as a Shumway--proud and happy and thankful for the wonderful life, people, and experiences that honored title included. She showed up as a friend. She showed up in sunshine and in showers. She found her way to many front doors with her faith, her love, her smile, her listening ear, and her prayers. She showed up to Church as a faithful and dedicated Mormon woman. Her testimony was felt and seen, not usually preached. She showed up to be the most devoted wife to "My Phil, my most precious and endless blessing." But mostly, she showed up to be a mother."

Grandmother had unique discipline methods. It didn't matter if you were the offending child, if you were the closest to her, you got the punishment. According to her children, some weapons she frequently used were spoons, drum sticks, and egg cartons. She sent my dad (5 years old) outside to find his own switch so she could beat him with it. He came back a couple of hours later with a log as big as he was and said, "Okay Mom, go ahead and whack me." Such a cute, obedient boy.

Grandmother kept an orderly house. When they would leave on family vacations, she would vacuum herself out the door so that when she came home, the house was pristine. The story is told that Matt and Scott were called to the office in high school because there was an emergency at home. They rushed home to find Grandmother sitting quietly at the table. "Go make your bed." They did and returned to school. They then had to tell their classmates that the emergency was that they hadn't made their beds. Some 40 years later as Uncle Matt was being introduced, a woman said, "I know you! You're that guy in high school that had to go home and make his bed!" Lasting impressions of an orderly home.

Grandmother cared. She cared about her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. We knew she loved us...even when we were being naughty. My Aunt Hallie wrote, "She cherished us. She showed up for all we did--and we have proof! Uncovering [every newspaper clipping, school program, Mother's Day cards, etc] has been a loving, revealing, and exemplary process. When her children were gone, she thought a lot about what to do with her new life, new season, new opportunities. She deliberated for a couple of years and then decided just to continue on--to keep showing up and always being there--waiting for a knock, a call, an opportunity to do as one of her favorite sayings expresses:

They might not need me
But they might
I'll keep my head just in sight
A smile as small as mine might be
Precisely their necessity.

Her last years of "showing up" were as important as her first ones. Beloved grandchildren and others so important to her life have kept showing up for a bit of her magic. And she gave it, and it worked. We miss our mother--but we know in moments sacred to each of us that she is still close by, being there, and waiting. It is our best hope that we may all show up some paradisaical day to experience her now heavenly magic."

I hope to be the kind of woman my Grandmother was. She was a mother who "showed up" and everyone knew of her love for them. She spent TIME. Aren't I lucky to have two heavenly Grandmothers watching over me--and lucky enough to have my mom helping shape and mold me into the woman I want to be? Three amazing women. I thank Heavenly Father daily for this blessing. Aren't I lucky??