Three.

It does not seem real.  Three whole years.  Three extremely long years.  Three years of aching, yearning, and emptiness.  You never realize how much you need someone until they are not there.


A friend was leaving my house tonight and saw our family picture that hangs by the door.  He commented that Rick and Cam look so much alike (of course--everyone thinks so except for me) and then commented that they look more like my mom.  He said I look like my dad, and that I had my dad's eyes.  He doesn't know how much that meant to me.  I recently discovered that my smile is exactly like my dad's genuine smile--a crooked smile.  I love finding ways that I can say, "yes!  I am my dad's daughter!"  I miss him more than words can express.  


I had an experience tonight.  I know, without a doubt, my dad is watching over me.  He is near and is comforting me.  

"The spirit world is not far away.  

Sometimes the veil between this life 

and the life beyond becomes very thin.

This I know!

Our loved ones who have passed 

on are not far from us." 

 --President Ezra Taft Benson

I hope to be able to live worthily enough to be with my dad.  Heaven is such a perfect place filled with people I yearn to be with.  

I'll always be your doberman.

You'll always be my favorite dad.  

I love you.  

A Real Adult

 

Kar got a real job!!  When did we grow up?  I'm still not sure.  We had this brief text conversation today.  I did meet with my principal and facilitator.  I got a folder full of 40 pages of things that I have to do, expectations for my classroom set up, meetings I have to attend, journals I have to write, teacher work sample information, etc. etc. etc. etc. etc.  I was so overwhelmed.  I drove away from the school and started to freak out.  I honestly don't know how I am going to do it all.  As I was driving I needed someone to talk to that would tell me everything would be ok.  Immediately all I wanted to do was talk to my dad.  I knew he would be able to calm me down.  He always could.  I started to cry.




Sometimes life is hard.  Sometimes it's overwhelming.  Sometimes I just need my dad.