6 months.

I can't believe it. I think about what I have accomplished, or lack thereof, in the last 6 months. Still such a surreal feeling. I am ever aware of the absence of dad. While we were in Pittsburgh I kept thinking, "i'll just take a picture of the boys and send it to dad; he will love it!" When we were driving home from the airport I thought, "I sure can't wait to get home and see dad--it feels like I haven't seen him forever!" Both these thoughts were complete before I realized neither one would come happen anytime soon.

I found this song by Ingrid Michaelson. Some days this is exactly how I feel--I can't do anything but breathe. That is all that I know--that is the only way to make it through the day.

Keep Breathing lyrics:

The storm is coming but I don't mind.
People are dying, I close my blinds.
All that I know is i'm breathing now.

I want to change the world...instead I sleep.
I want to believe in more than you and me.

But all that I know is i'm breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All that I know is i'm breathing.
All I can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing
All we can do is keep breathing.
All we can do is keep breathing now.

Some days it is taking life a minute at a time--and just thinking about breathing. I am aware of activities and things going on around me, sometimes I just don't feel like participating.

Before this sounds like a totally depressing post, there are days where I think of good memories and am happy--so happy to know where he is and what he is doing. This life is just a small moment. I can't wait for eternity! There is not a day that goes by that I don't think of him, how he would react to a certain situation, how he would treat someone, a funny story that happened, something. So many good memories. I just have to keep thinking of those.

One of my good friend's dad passed away a year ago; almost exactly 6 months before dad. I have had several good discussions with him about our dads. It is always nice to talk to someone and be able to tell them how amazing my dad is!

I can't believe it has only been 6 months. 6 months sure feels like a long time. Time is a funny thing--especially when your heart strings are attached to it.

Love you favorite dad.